A couple weeks ago, I went to work for just another day at the office. It was a weekend night. I expected the usual drunken weekend crowd. However, this night was different then the rest because I ran into a customer that I have known since I first started dancing. And it was his birthday. Over the years, we have gone out to dinner, he has taken me to get my nails done and I have talked him out of driving drunk by driving him to another strip club. I always assumed that he was safe and viewed me as an individual and not an object.
Well you know what they say about ASSumptions!
He told me about his business and his financial situation at the moment. And how much money he was willing to spend to have a good night with me. I was appauled. I have become used to this over the years from drunken strangers, unfortunately, but from someone who has known me for years and I have never hussled. Wow! This hurt my heart! I told him to leave because I was at a lack for words, very rare for me.
I do not know where the line is between men with good intentions and/or bad intentions. Men as human beings are sexual creatures. Where is the line where I refuse to be treated like an object to fulfill this human need?
Well to most this is an unspoken subject, but I have had my fair share of being someones gift(Christmas, Birthday, etc). I remember the first time someone referred to me as a gift to himself. It was the first holiday season I danced, at a club in Eugene. A nice old man who came in to drink coffee said that I was his Christmas gift to himself, after I gave him a dance. This seemed innocent and it felt good then to be valued in that way.
Somehow, over the years the expectations have rose!
~Zi-Fi
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