Tonight, I realized a family is better then no family at all. My baking customer(that I have known since I was just starting dancing in Eugene) came into the club. We talk family, because he takes care of his elderly father. Also, he was in the military and so were my parents. We just connect. Some people we are meant to meet in our lifetimes! When I see myself through his eyes I see someone amazing and when I see him I see someone amazing. It is interesting and great at the same time. I love people I can learn things from and he always has something to say to make me smile. Everyone needs good people in their life. I am blessed.
I realized I do not feel love from my family. I know they love me logically and they prove their loyalty. But this is what enables me to do my job. Being so detached around "your loved ones" is not pleasant, but there are strengths that come with it. Such as being able to dance and get naked, while smiling. And the ability to form bonds with people that are only surface level easily, if I find them worthy.
So, I may have just as many emotional voids as the customers who come into the clubs.
At its finest, it is a win win situation...
I just never realized how large my payoff was before now!
~Zi-Fi
"And I'm afraid, in this day and age, trust, which I count so, you know, I love loyalty. I love trust."
Elton John
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