Walls To My Heart

Since I started dancing, the walls to my heart have thickened more and more, throughout the years.

Now, I have to take into consideration why people want to be around me. What is their hidden agenda? At the club it is easy, people are there for the fantasy I can be. In my "real" life, I have to question people's motives. Perhaps, I am a trophy, a conquest, a bet, a thrill because of my career, perhaps they think I will spend money on them, or a combination of one or more, or who knows what else!

People have stigmas and strippers do not have the best reputations. Stereotypes are legal. Not fun, but it is what it is.

I find myself only trusting my friends that I have known since before I started dancing. The group here in Eugene is very limited nowadays. Especially, because a lot of my friends chose marriage, parenthood, or both. Thus, my friends here are busy with the lives they have created for themselves, just as I am, but with a very different schedule to boot.

Having such a different lifestyle has made it very difficult to relate to people, let alone people my own age.

I have compassion, because I know different things make different people happy. However, I have yet to be able to connect with a lot of people I know. I see judgement in their eyes. This is never fun and represents their own personal issues.

It is sad from my standpoint, because it is just another person to keep at an arms length with a smile!

~Zi-Fi

That's just the result of me paying attention
To all these women that think like men with the same intentions.
Talking strippers and models that try to gain attention.
Even a couple of pornstars that I'm ashamed to mention.

~Drake