After I got The Call, I was a happy camper. Rarely do I get the opportunity to be real and genuine, let alone feel a connection with someone. So, my game face was on for the night because my heart felt good. I had my hussle, at least the walking on glass version(due to new club in town).
One man I approached as he sat at the end of the bar was waiting for a friend to arrive. He told me his story: business owner, family, wife, kids, married. But he seemed so unhappy about it all. I knew I was not going to be able to hussle him when he stated the cop out people grow apart line. I asked him when was the last time he did something nice for his wife, some sort of small everyday thing. His response was going grocery shopping and taking his daughter with him. My jaw almost hit the ground and my eyes popped out of my head. This was just plain sad and way too early in the night for my smile/hope to be taken away!
After his friend arrived and I got in his friend's wallet a little. I had the perfect opportunity coming out of the vip room to speak my truth. And of course I just could not help myself! I told him as we stood on the edge of the bar, "Look at all this(it was late enough to be busy with a drunken Friday night crowd). I do all this so that one day I can have what all you have." He looked at me like a deer in the headlights. And all he could mutter with wide eyes was, "You are a nice girl."
People like that either reassure me that I will really appreciate normalcy, once I have it. Or on the other hand, I worry it is not all it is cracked up to be. Perhaps, just another something society intends to sell us?
But I will have a family one day and I hope these memories of customers who take what they have for granted will stay with me forever. I value what I have now, but I know all this work will pay off with more then money and freedom. The goal is to find love. And not romantic love, but the type of love where people decide to be partners in life. A commitment to love each other, evolve, and raise children together. Children who will never have to struggle or suffer like I did.
One day I will have patience for children and the resources to spoil them with love and time.
Time is only priceless when mixed with love!
~Zi-Fi
“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.”
-Charles Dickens
Normalcy is a blessing & a curse all at the same time. The grass is always more appatizing on the other side of the fence. I have normal. A good man, good kids, a home ... But, sometimes, I wish for something alternate. Something less. Normal is great, but, it's also quite boring.
ReplyDelete~Gemini